I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
