I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
