I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
