So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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