Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
