college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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