well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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