News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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