vagina is talking i cant
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
