apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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