Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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