They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
