david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
