NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
