Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
