im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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