Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is it penis luge time yet?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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