how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
