But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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