dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
