I want to have your abortion
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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