and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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