I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I need to stop coming to work sober
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
