You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
where am i from again
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
