Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Operation Purity has been aborted
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
