Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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