Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
