she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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