I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
