I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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