Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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