I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize