Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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