he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
