Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
