I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
