i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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