we have officially mastered the walk of shame
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
