so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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