she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
