Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
