Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
