what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
