Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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