he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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