get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
