I just pynch a tree in the face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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