how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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