I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
