oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Randomize
