wrigley field is MILF paradise
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
